


Lean On Me

by Leonidas1754



Series: Lean on Me (I'll Lean on You Too) [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Aged-Up Yuri Plisetsky, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Chris is unfortunately crushing on Viktor, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Post-Break Up, They're both a mess but this just focuses on Yuri and Yuuri, Written before I saw Yurio's Welcome to the Madness whoops, Yuri has a crush on Yuuri, cute nerds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 13:04:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10640427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leonidas1754/pseuds/Leonidas1754
Summary: Two years after Yuri's first Senior Grand Prix Final, Yuuri tells Yuri that he and Viktor had a mutual breakup. Yuri wants to support Yuuri, having grown closer to him over the years, but will be be able to do that while keeping his own feelings a secret?(Yuri is 17 at the beginning and 18 by the end of the fic)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers, he can't.  
> This was originally supposed to be a drabble. Don't ask me how it ended up at nearly 7.5k words. Feel free to point out any grammar mistakes I might have made, I'm not used to editing fics that are this damn long.  
> Also the song stated to be the one Yuri skates to is a real song, I highly suggest listening to it, it's wonderful.  
> EDIT: I thought I should probably note that this was written before I knew Yurio's Welcome to the Madness was a thing and long before I actually saw it so. Yea it doesn't really take that into account hahaha.

It was two years after Yuri wins his first gold at the Grand Prix in Barcelona that he hears something he never thought he would.

“Yea, Viktor and I… we decided to cut things off. It just didn’t work out.”

Yuri looked up from tying his skates to stare at Yuuri. Did… Did he really just say what Yuri thought he said? He’d heard they’d hit some really rough patches in their relationship lately, but actually breaking up? Yuri thought it was impossible.

“Oh, I’m… sorry to hear that.” He wasn’t really sure what to say, though Yuuri just shook his head.

“It’s fine, I just thought I should tell you first, since you’re a good friend.” Yuri sat up and smiled at Yuri, though there was a definite sadness to it.

Yuri finished tying his skates, standing. He and Yuuri had gotten closer over the years, though he wouldn’t say they were best friends or anything. He was in Hatsetsu to visit Yuuri and his friends and family, he wasn’t really prepared for this.

“Can I help or something..?” Yuri asked awkwardly.

Yuuri laughed softly at how lost Yuri looked. “It’s fine, Yuri, really. We broke it off on good terms, I think, and it wasn’t like we were fighting or anything, it just wasn’t working out. “

“Still, that’s gotta be rough. I heard you two hadn’t been doing so well lately, but I always figured it was just a rough spot.”

“I thought so too. But there were just some things we couldn’t get through, some differences between us that we couldn’t work out.” Yuuri shrugged. “I’ve cried over it, I’ve been torn up. It’s time to pick myself up and move on. Plenty of fish in the sea and all that.”

“Yea, I guess that’s a good way to look at it,” Yuri said, rubbing his neck.

Yuuri pushed himself onto the ice, moving slowly as he glided across the ice. The forlorn expression reminded Yuri of a conversation he’d once had with his grandfather. One about his own feelings towards a certain Japanese skater, and his own heartbreak.

* * *

 

_“Ah, your first love… for better or for worse, you never quite forget it.”_

_“I don’t want to remember it, Grandpa. This sucks. He already found his lover, I’ve got no chance.”_

_“I understand.” Yuri’s grandfather rubbed his back gently. “To find your first love, and have them stolen away before you even realize it, it is painful. But your first love does not mean it is your only love, and it can help you to learn to love better. I’m sure you will find someone who adores and inspires you just as much as Viktor and Yuuri do one another.”_

_Yuri smiled wistfully. “Thank you.”_

* * *

 

“Yuri? Are you okay?”

Yuri was snapped out of his thoughts by Yuuri gliding up to him, looking concerned. “Yea, I’m fine. Just thinking of something my grandpa talked to me about.”

“Ah, I see. Mind sharing?” Yuuri smiled, placing his hands on his hips. “You look up to him so much, I’m sure he gives great advice.”

“Yea,” Yuri said, feeling the smile come to his face. He didn’t bother trying to push it down. “It was mostly about… first loves. You never quite forget them, or entirely get over them, but you learn to live with them, and they can help you become a better lover yourself.”

Yuuri chuckles. “That’s good advice, I think. Honestly, it kind of makes me glad that Viktor wasn’t my first love.”

“Really?” Yuri’s brows shot up. That was news to him. “Then… who was?”

Yuuri smiled. “Not who. This is… probably going to sound stupid.”

“Not any stupider than what you usually say.”

“Har har. Well, my first love is… the ice.” Yuuri rubbed his neck, smiling like a dork.

Yuri stared blankly at him for a few moments. “... You’re right, that sounded really stupid.” Part of Yuri was relieved that Viktor wasn’t Yuuri’s first love. It was a bit selfish- well, more than a bit, but that wasn’t the point- but it wouldn’t be as hard for Yuuri to get over Viktor, at least by Yuri’s logic. “Still, the ice?”

Yuuri chuckled, drifting backwards on his skates. “What can I say? I looked up to Viktor since I was young, but I started ice skating even before then. Maybe it doesn’t really count, saying it was my first love or whatever, but that’s just how I feel.”

“Hmph. Still ridiculous as ever, pork cutlet bowl.” There’s no bite to Yuri’s tone and even if there was, Yuuri would probably still be smiling anyways. He always smiled at Yuri’s antics, however mean his words were, he knew Yuri didn’t really mean them. Yuri still tried to tone down how rude he was, but most times simply slipped out of habit. It was just something he still needed to work on.

Yuri glided across the ice, experimenting with some potential step sequences for the short program he was choreographing for next season. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Yuuri practice a few jumps. There was an easy quiet between them, just the sound of their skates against the ice filling the air.

Yuri couldn’t help but think back over the past two years. He and Yuuri had never been particularly close- Yuri’s feelings and Yuuri’s relationship had made it a bit too awkward- but he could say without a doubt that Yuuri was one of the few people he trusted unconditionally, the others being his grandfather and Otabek. He could count on Yuuri to be there when it mattered, to listen if he needed it, and to understand even when Yuri couldn’t find the words to express himself. Yuri wanted to do the same for him.

Eventually, Yuri spoke up again, drawing the other’s attention. “So what are you going to make your theme this year? Chris  keeps trying to convince me to make mine something like Eros, since I’m turning eighteen this year, but I say he’s full of hot air.”

Yuuri chuckled. “Yea, that sounds like Chris. I think I’m going to make mine something like starting over. Skating out my feelings, I guess.”

Yuri made a bit of a face. “I don’t know, that didn’t work out too well for Georgi when he did it.”

“I actually talked to him about it, because I remembered that. We think it just didn’t work as well since he was so focused on trying to win her back. I’m not going to try to win Viktor back. I wouldn’t take him back even if he begged me.”

Yuri raised a brow. “Is that so..?”

“It probably sounds a little strange, huh?” Yuuri paused as Yuri nodded, then continued. “Well, we need to sure about our decisions. I thought long and hard about everything before we decided to break up, so suddenly getting back together would just kind of defeat the purpose, you know? I’m not saying I’d never get back together with him if he wanted to, just… not yet, you know?”

“Yea, I guess that makes sense. So what will you skate, then? About your emotions, I mean.”

“Well… I think I’ll make my short program about how happy I was when we were together, and then my free skate about how heartbroken I felt, and how I’m recovering, I guess.”

“You’re handling this whole thing pretty well. Better than JJ did when his fiance broke it off.”

“Well I’m also older than him. It’s really easy to forget he’s only twenty now, nineteen when they broke up.”

“Fair I guess. Still, how long ago was it for you two?”

“About a month, now.”

Yuri stared. “What?! And you’re only just now telling me?”

Yuuri winced. “We didn’t want to make it some big announcement or anything, we’d just tell people in our own time.”

Yuri shook his head. These two… He thought they’d be the death of him back then, and he wasn’t sure it wasn’t still the case. They could be so absurd sometimes. Even when they weren’t together. But then Yuuri snapped him out of his thoughts again. “So if you’re not doing Eros, what’s your theme going to be?”

Yuri shrugged. “Don’t know yet. I’ve been putting routines together, but I can’t seem to find what I’m looking for with it. The emotions to go with everything I guess.”

“That’s fair. Maybe you should take Chris’s advice.”

“To do Eros? Yuck. I think I’ll leave that to you two.”

“Heh, I doubt your Eros would be much like mine or Chris’s anyways.” Yuuri seemed to be lost in thought.

Yuri tilted his head. “What’s that supposed to mean? Eros is Eros, right?”

Yuuri chuckled. “Okay, but would your first thought of Eros be a pork cutlet bowl?”

They both laughed at the memory. Yuri shook his head.“No way, that was so stupid. I still can’t believe you even said that.”

“Heheh, but you get my point. All kinds of love are different things for different people, and we express them differently. The way you skate Eros would be different than me. You’re no seductive woman, Yurio,” Yuuri added, laughing again.

Yuri rolled his eyes, thumping Yuuri on the shoulder. It did make him think, though. Maybe he could do that after all. “I just need to figure out what my Eros is, then.”

Yuuri nodded, looking happy to have helped. Yuri nearly sighed in content at the expression. He had resolved that he’d never quite get over his crush, but he hadn’t expected it to resurge with such force. He pushed it down. Even if Yuuri was single now, it’d be cruel to try and use his recent break up as a chance to move in on him. Yuri was an asshole, but not that much of one.

He pushed off the ice, taking a long drink from his water bottle. His Eros… What was his Eros? Or rather, what was Eros to him? He didn’t exactly have a long history of lovers, or any at all, really. He watched Yuuri move through one of his routines, contemplating it. Maybe he should go stand under that waterfall again, since it seemed to help him figure out Agape. He smiled as Yuuri landed a quad flip with practiced ease.

Eros was physical love, but he’d never really experienced that sort of thing before. He had to admit he was curious, though. What would that sort of relationship be like? He couldn’t help but think of how Yuuri and Viktor used to be together. It seemed they were always hanging all over each other, hugging, holding hands, that sort of thing. That was physical love, right? That was Eros. It didn’t have to just be lust or seduction.

Yuri wondered what it would be like to be in a relationship like that. To have someone holding Yuri to his side, kissing him just because he wanted to, holding his hand, it would be nice. His mind immediately turned to Yuuri, what it might be like to do those things with him. Maybe that could be his theme; not Eros, but curiosity, longing to know what Eros was, what a relationship was.

He smiled softly. “Oi, pork cutlet bowl!” He called out, startling Yuuri.

Yuuri skated over, resting his hands on the barrier. “Yea? Is something up, Yurio?”

Yuri rolled his eyes at the nickname. Then again, he still called Yuuri ‘pork cutlet bowl’ so he supposed he had no room to talk. “How does curiosity sound for a theme?”

“Curiosity? About what?”

“Well, Eros, for one.” Yuri leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I’ve never been in a relationship, I don’t know much about what Eros is like or what it means to me.”

Yuuri considered it, lightly chewing on his lip. “That sounds pretty good. I guess coming of age makes you curious about a lot of things, huh?”

“I’ve been of age since you met me, piggy,” Yuri said, rolling his eyes.

“Yes, but soon you’ll be considered an adult all over the world.” Yuuri smiled. “That’s gotta be a little exciting, right?”

“I guess. Maybe people will take me a bit more seriously now.”

“If they don’t take you seriously by now, I don’t think they ever will. After all, you’re one of the greatest skaters in the world.”

“Next to you.”

Yuuri laughed. “And who was it that got a gold medal before me? Or rather, who has at least one gold medal?”

“Ah shut it, pork cutlet bowl,” Yuri jabbed, though he still smiled. “I’ll take the gold again this year, you and Viktor won’t stop me.”

“It’d be great to stand with you again. Even if I would prefer to be in the middle.”

“Wow piggy, didn’t think you were that kind of guy.”

Yuuri looked confused for a few moments before blushing. “N-No, come on, you know that wasn’t what I meant!”

Yuri laughed, shaking his head. “I know, I know.”

Yuuri huffed, cheeks puffed out at Yuri. “I expect that sort of thing from Chris, not you.”

“Sorry. Couldn’t resist.”

“I need to keep you away from Chris, he’s a bad influence,” Yuuri stated, trying to sound stern. Still, he smiled, moving the the door to get off the ice. “So what do you think?”

“Of what?”

“Of my short program, duh.”

Yuri hummed softly. “It was good. Are you really going to do a quad flip, though? That late in the program?”

Yuuri nods. “I think I can do it. My main worry is being able to do it in the competition. The pressure could get to me easily.”

“Well, you’ve still got… four months? Until the start of the season. You’ve got enough time to practice your heart out. I’m just surprised you’ve got your short program ready this early.”

“It’s something I thought of for last year. I just had to change it around a bit, to go with my new theme.” Yuuri smiles, unlacing his skates. “Maybe this year, I’ll finally win gold. No… This year, I will.” He grinned, looking up at Yuri. “You’ll have to wait just a little longer to get your next one.”

“Heh, even if that’s true, I won’t make it easy for you,” Yuri said, reaching over to poke him in the ribs. “You’ll have to go through me to get to the top, pork cutlet bowl.”

Yuuri laughed softly at the poke. “Go through you, huh? That should be easy; after all, you didn’t exactly fill out much. You just got absurdly tall. That’s not fair, by the way, why do you get to be some big tall stick while I have to be short one who gains weight easily.”

“Well, at least whenever you do eventually retire, you won’t have to worry about your weight as much.” Yuri hummed softly, musing on what Yuuri looked like with a little bit of weight. He’d heard Yuuri let his weight go after his first Grand Prix, where Yuri had yelled at him… He felt a bit bad about that to this day.

Yuuri chuckled. “Yea, that’s fair. Retiring… I haven’t thought about that in a while. Guess I’ve been too focused on other things.”

“Good. I don’t wanna have to just skate against Viktor and JJ alone. You’re my only fun competition.”

“Fun?” Yuuri looked up at him, tilting his head curiously. “What do you mean by that?”

Yuri chewed on his lip. “JJ… He’s mellowed out but he still gets on my nerves, and Viktor is… Viktor.”

“What about Otabek? Aren’t you guys close?”

Yuri chuckled. “Yes, but he’s so serious, he’s not all that fun to skate against. A good friend though, I can tell him anything.”

Yuuri stretches. “Yea, it was really nice to see you make a friend. And keep him. Though I kind of always expected you two to get together…”

Yuri coughed, blinking. “What? No, he’s- he’s just a friend.”

“Yea, Phichit and I were like that too. Our coach thought we were secretly together for a little while. We kissed once, but nothing else.”

“Really?”

“Mhm. Have you ever kissed anyone?”

“... No. Guess I can add that to the list of things I’m curious about.”

“Heh, I’m sure there are plenty of people who would be more than happy to kiss you if you wanted.” Yuuri stood, picking up his skates.

 _‘There’s only one person I want to kiss, though,’_ Yuri had to bite back, standing as well. “Yea yea. I’ll kiss someone eventually, I’ve just gotta find the right person. It’s not a big deal, so I’m not in a hurry.”

“That’s a good way to think about it,” Yuuri said as he walked, Yuri following close behind. “If you want your first kiss to be special, you shouldn’t rush it. Do whatever makes you comfortable.”

“Yea, I know I’ve got a person or two in mind.”

Yuuri looked over his shoulder, grinning. “Any chance you’ll spill who?”

Yuri snorted. “Not in your life, piggy.”

* * *

 

Yuri took a deep breath as he made his way to the middle of the ice. Skate Canada, qualifying for the Grand Prix Finals… Viktor was watching him from the sides, JJ too… And Yuuri. Yuuri promised he’d watch from home, not being able to come out to Canada himself. This was the first time Yuri was going to skate this program in front of anyone.

 _“And now on the ice, Yuri Plisetsky. He will be skating to Weak by AJR,”_ the announcer spoke, voice echoing over the ice.

It had taken a while for him to pick a song, and he’d refused to let anyone even see him practice his short program. Yuri was by no means weak, but sometimes he felt that way, when thinking of trying something new, of letting someone touch him, of letting… He took hold of that feeling as the music started, the curiosity and vulnerability and joy. He skated his heart out, longing and joy and sorrow for something so close yet just out of reach.

He couldn’t help but feel guilty about it. After all, he was still longing for Yuuri, who’d recently broken up with his fiance of over two years. He didn’t want to take advantage of his friend, but he couldn’t lie to himself. He skated honestly, how he felt, and that was all he needed to do. Part of him wanted Yuuri to figure it out, to confront him that way he didn’t have to be the one to bring it up or keep it secret forever. Yuri closed his eyes, losing himself to the music and movement. He wasn’t skating to win this year. He was skating his feelings out, exploring himself. And if he won a gold while doing it? Well, alright, he was still skating for gold. It just wasn’t the first thing on his mind.

He panted as he moved off the ice, feeling the smile on his lips. He didn’t feel like keeping his appearance up, even as Viktor commented on it. He didn’t really process the score being announced; he’d skated a perfect program, and it was technically fantastic, he could easily get into the Grand Prix Final, but that’s not what he wanted right now.

As soon as he could, he ducked into the bathroom and pulled out his phone, immediately calling Yuuri. To his surprise, he picked up almost right away. “Yuuri, did you see that?”

“Of course I did, that was amazing! No wonder you kept it secret, holy cow, it was so… Just amazing.”

Yuri felt his chest swell in pride. “I’m glad the wait was worth it.”

“You really got into the music this time, I could see it in the way you moved. Coming of age, being full of passion and wishing to share that with someone, it was powerful. Only you could make Eros look innocent and sweet, Yurio.”

Yuri was glad he was alone, because his face was red. “Hah, I’m sure I could skate less innocent Eros if I wanted.”

Yuuri chuckled on the other end. “Yea, I’m sure you can. But I like this sort of thing, it’s very… you. It reminds me of your Agape short program.”

“Yea? How so?” Yuri smiled, leaning against the stall door.

Yuuri hums a bit. “Agape, with unconditional love… You’re pretty angry, a lot of the time, but when you set your heart to something, you give it your everything. You don’t really like asking for things unless someone already said they’d do it, like how Viktor said he’d choreograph that routine for you. He promised you, and you fulfilled your end of the bargain, so you expected him to hold up his.”

“Yea? Seems like you’ve thought about that a lot,” Yuri stated. With anyone else, it probably would have been creepy, but this was Yuuri, and he’d never have any bad intentions. “But how does that apply to my Eros?”

“It’s… It’s very giving. You don’t ask for anything outright, you just offer and want them to return it. A promise of the experience in exchange for the same.”

He smiled softly, sighing. “Yea, I guess that makes sense. It’s what I’m going for, in any case.”

“Yea… You should be careful, though, I mean, someone could get the wrong idea…”

“What are you talking about?”

Yuuri grumbled a bit on the other end of the line. “I… Seeing that routine, it was amazing, but I… Someone could get the wrong idea. Wish I could be there to look out for you.”

Yuri was quiet for a few moments. “... You’ll be there with me at the Cup of China, if you really feel that strong about it. I can look out for myself though, piggy. You don’t have to protect me or anything.”

Yuuri laughed softly, sounding a bit strange through the phone. “No, I know, just… That’s how it made me feel. Really, you could probably kick my ass six ways to Sunday without breaking a sweat.”

That made Yuri laugh as well. “Alright, alright, I should probably get back out there to find out the results. Talk to you later?”

“Of course. Good luck on your free skate, Yuri!”

Yuri was still smiling as he placed his phone back in his pocket and stepped out of the bathroom. Yuuri had used his real name, not that dumb nickname. It was nice.

* * *

 

“Long time no see, Yuri!”

“Get _off_ me Chris, seriously, you’re pissing me off!”

Chris leapt away from where he had his arm around Yuri, smiling sheepishly. “Sorry, I forgot you’re not as okay with the touching. So how are you doing? I saw you at Skate Canada, that was just a phenomenal performance.”

“Thanks. I haven’t really been watching the other events besides the Cup of China.”

“Right, the one Yuuri was in this year…” Chris gave him a knowing smile.

A shiver went down his spine. “What’s with that stupid look.”

Chris shook his head. “I know how you feel about Yuuri, honey, I knew the moment I saw you two at the first Rostelecom Cup when Viktor was his coach. Even now, you’re skating for him, aren’t you?”

Yuri’s first thought was to protest of course, but no one was around, so he simply sighed. “Can we not talk about this here?”

“Right, right, sorry. Want to come to my room? I promise, it’s just a normal room,” Chris teased.

Yuri rolled his eyes but nodded, following Chris back to his room and flopping onto a chair. “Yea, you’re right. Doesn’t really matter though.”

“Well, he did break up with Viktor, so you’ve got a chance~” Chris teased, but smiled and sat on his bed when Yuri gave him a withering look. “Trust me, honey, I know. I was… No, I _am_ the same way about Viktor.”

Yuri raised a brow, considering it. He and Viktor had been competing together for so long, and they seemed close, Yuri supposed it wasn’t a far stretch for Chris to fall for him. “Right… I guess technically I have a chance now, but it just feels…”

“Wrong?”

“Yea. Like I’m taking advantage of him or something, if I try.”

Chris nodded. “I get that too. I’d love to make a move on Viktor, but he’s still totally torn up about it. Sometimes he gets drunk and starts wailing about how he wants to try to win Yuuri back.”

Yuri sat up a bit. “Wow, that sounds… terrible. I’ve been kind of avoiding him. Yuuri seems to be doing alright.”

“Yea, from what I understand, it was a mutual break-up, but it mostly stemmed from Yuuri having more trouble with some of Viktor’s tendencies. He can get a little tone deaf, and sometimes Yuuri just needs his space, and Viktor forgetting his promises half the time didn’t help.” Chris sighed, leaning back on his hands. “I’ll never say I love Viktor more than Yuuri did, that’s silly. Those two were hopelessly in love, I thought they were made for one another. But sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, things can get to you. I’m just glad it happened before they tied the knot rather than after, as that would have been… Messy, and not in a fun way.”

Yuri stayed quiet, nodding as Chris spoke, though he made a face at the last statement. Leave it to Chris to inadvertently slip something sexual in. “I didn’t realize it was like that. Yuuri’s been pretty okay about it from what I can tell, though he never wanted to talk about why they broke up, so I didn’t really press it.”

“Fair enough. I’m sure Viktor will get over it. Eventually.” Chris shook his head, sighing. “Good thing I’m used to this sort of thing from him, we’ve vented to each other many times before about ex-lovers. It’s different this time, Yuuri meant a lot to him, but he’ll recover. He always does.”

“Mhm…” Yuri stood and grabbed two glasses, filling one with wine from the table and the other with water. He handed the wine to Chris and held his own glass out for a toast. “To our lousy luck at falling for these idiots of all people.”

Chris looked surprised for a moment, then laughed and tapped their glasses together, sipping at the wine. “Cheers to that. I never expected to be having this sort of conversation with you, but here we are.”

“You tell anyone, I’ll break your legs.”

“Of course, honey, your secret’s safe with me.”

* * *

 Yuri stayed quiet as he and Yuuri walked through the Moscow streets, not going anywhere in particular. Yuuri had something on his mind, that much Yuri could tell, but he also knew Yuuri would talk about it if he wanted to, whenever he was ready. That was how Yuuri was. In the meantime, Yuri was free to hum softly, or let himself get distracted by something being sold in a store window.

As he looked away from a window where a large stuffed tiger was being sold, he found Yuuri had disappeared. “Eh, Yuuri?”

He didn’t get a response, but soon spotted him a short distance away, standing in front of a jewelry store. Yuri jogged up to him, wondering what he was looking at as he glanced over the jewelry himself. He’d never really been a jewelry kind of guy himself, it was usually too big and flashy for him, and he felt it didn’t mesh well with his pale skin.

They stood there for a few moments before Yuuri spoke, to Yuri’s surprise. “This… This was where I got our rings. Mine and Viktor’s, I mean.”

Yuri made a soft noise of understanding, letting the silence settle between them for a few moments before speaking up. “Do you regret it?”

“What, getting the rings? Well, my wallet wasn’t exactly happy with me, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“No, not- well, partially that, but I meant more, being with Viktor.”

Yuuri looked over at him, surprised. “Oh? Well… No, I don’t. Viktor, to put it simply, changed my life. I don’t know where I’d be today if not for him. Our relationship may have ended, but I still care about him a lot. I… I do miss him, sometimes, but I think breaking up was better for both of us.”

“... You never did tell me why.” He’d heard some from Chris, but he wanted to hear it from Yuuri himself.

Yuuri’s expression clouded. “I… I don’t usually say, because it wasn’t one big thing. It was a lot of little things, some stuff that was me, some Viktor, and some stuff outside of either of our control. Seems like most people don’t like that answer, though, so I don’t like to talk about it.”

Yuri nodded. “That makes sense. I think everyone was kind of shocked when they heard.”

“I’m not surprised. Everyone thought we’d be together forever. I thought so too, honestly.”

“Eh, there’s plenty of people who’d be willing to take his place. You could probably get anyone you wanted.”

“Heh, that’s a little bit of deja vu. Speaking of, did you find the person you wanted to share your first kiss with?”

Yuri swallowed, looking back to the window. “I found them a long time ago, but I don’t think they’re interested in kissing me.”

Yuuri smiled sympathetically. “That sucks. Well, maybe you’ll find someone else, huh?”

“Maybe.”

They fell back into an easy silence as they walked away from the jewelry store, heading down the street. Yuri appreciated moments like these. They didn’t need to talk a lot, or explain everything. They could just go at their own pace. And maybe one day, Yuri could tell him the truth, that it was Yuuri he wanted.

For now, though, he simply groaned as they approached the restaurant they agreed to meet the others at, glaring at JJ. “Who invited you?”

“Phichit did, duh. He invited everyone from the cup. Congrats on your win, by the way, and your silver, Yuuri. I’ll be seeing you both at the final, haha!” JJ grinned at them, competitive but friendly.

Yuuri smiled back. “Don’t expect us to take it easy on you.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it! I’ll get onto the podium again, you’ll see. I’ll knock one of you off this year.”

Yuri snorted. “Well it won’t be me. I’m in top form this year, I’ll be taking home the gold for sure.”

“I think you mean silver,” Yuuri teased, grinning up at him.

Yuri jabbed him with his elbow, making Yuuri laugh and JJ shake his head at both of them.

 _‘Yea,’_ Yuri thought, _‘This is fine.’_

* * *

 “Yuuri!” Yuri leaned over the barrier as Yuuri slid towards the door, weight heavily leaning on one side. He’d taken a hard fall on the ice from one of his jumps, and it was easy to see he was hurting. “Come on, get off the ice…” He helped Yuuri off the ice towards the kiss and cry, setting him on the bench. “What happened out there, are you alright?”

Yuuri rubbed his side, wincing. “Yea, I think I’m fine. Nothing’s broken at least, I just landed on my side wrong.” He looked up as the score was announced and winced. “Looks like I’m not the only thing that took a hit.”

Yuri grimaced. It was below the score he’d gotten at the Cup of China, but… “Don’t worry about it. You can make it up in the Free Skate, and what matters right now is that you’re hurt. Come on, we should get you to one of the medics here.”

Yuuri nodded and carefully got up, leaning his weight on Yuri’s side. Yuri did his best to support the other as they made their way over to see a doctor. Yuuri soon waved him off, however. “Yurio, your short program is coming up soon, you need to go get ready. I’ll be fine, promise. And I can still watch from here.” He smiled, obviously trying to be reassuring.

Yuri sighed, wishing his concern wasn’t so obvious. “Fine, fine, but I’m checking on you after my skate. You better not have broken something, dumbass, I don’t need to deal with both Viktor _and_ JJ on the podium with me.”

Yuuri laughed as Yuri walked away, then gave him a little cheer along the lines of “You’ve got this!” Yuri would have scoffed, but he needed to clear his head. If he was worried about Yuuri, he’d get distracted and screw up his program. He just needed to focus.

He carefully stepped onto the ice as JJ made his way off, closing his eyes. Yuuri… Yuuri would be alright, it was probably just a bruise, or something like that. He’d be fine. He was watching Yuri, and Yuri wasn’t about to let him down.

He opened his eyes to see the other skaters in the stands, Yuuri sitting to the side getting checked by the doctor. And then the music started, and he lost himself in it once more. Partway through, his mind just went blank, moving with the music and going through his motions as he always did. He took a deep breath as he pulled himself to a stop, the roar of the crowd bringing him back to reality. He smiled and waved as he glided towards the kiss and cry, heart beating faster as he saw Yuuri there waving to him with a huge grin.

He didn’t even need to know his score. Yuuri’s smile was worth all the gold medals in the world.

* * *

 “Wow, you are utterly hopeless.”

Yuri rolled his eyes as Chris snickered at him. “You’re supposed to sympathize, not laugh at me.”

“I’m sorry, you just- No wonder you say Yuuri described your Eros as innocent, you really are adorable.”

Yuri huffed softly as he leaned on the table, Chris sitting across from him. They’d decided to get dinner together the day after the short program. Yuri wanted to vent about how he was worried about Yuuri, but Otabek was busy and Chris could understand better anyways.

Chris smiled, taking a bite of his cake. “You know… I think you should tell Yuuri the truth.”

“What?! Are you out of your mind?!” Yuri hissed, careful not to raise his voice too much in the restaurant.

“I didn’t say you needed to tell him the _entire_ truth. Just tell him that you had a crush on him when you were younger, and that was your inspiration for this routine.”

“Because that doesn't sound creepy at all, sure.”

“Mm, I was mostly suggesting it so you can test the waters, see how he reacts to the prospect of you liking him in that way.”

“Forget it. He’s got enough to worry about anyways.”

“Yea, that fall looked pretty bad, is he going to be alright? Viktor about had a fit watching that happen.”

“Well, he didn’t break anything at least, he just has a big bruise on his side.”

“Could be worse I suppose. I thought you were going to be so stressed when you skated, but it was your best performance yet.” Chris’s grin grew wider. “You looked really into it. Almost like you were performing for a lover~”

Yuri facepalmed, trying to will down the furious blush coming to his cheeks. “Oh my fucking fuck, just shut up right now.”

Chris chuckled. “I’m not wrong, am I?”

Yuri huffed. “You’re awful, why am I hanging around you.”

“Because I can sympathize with your situation. And suffering is better when you suffer together.”

Yuri groaned and rested his head on the table. “I hate everything.”

He could feel Chris pat his head. “Yea, I feel that, honey, I feel that.”

* * *

 Yuri sighed and shook his head as he stood in the rink, holding up his medal. Silver. Yuuri had pulled one of his old tricks and switched up his jump composition to give himself a boost. This time, unlike the first time they’d skated together in the finals, he took gold. Yuri didn’t really mind, it wasn’t as if he hadn’t won gold before, and Yuuri deserved it. Viktor stood on Yuuri’s other side, waving to the crowd and holding his bronze medal.

He debated with himself on whether to ask Yuuri to go out with him. Not romantically of course, just as friends to hang out. He didn’t really feel like going to some big party afterwards. As he pulled himself off the ice, he tugged Yuuri to the side. “Hey, are you going to the banquet tonight?”

“Well, I was planning on it, why?” Yuuri asked in confusion.

“I was thinking we go out and do something more fun. Neither of us like parties anyways, so come on, it’ll be better.”

Yuuri smiled softly. “... Alright. Where should we meet?”

“The roof of the hotel, bring your jacket.”

“We’re not going swimming, are we?”

“Fuck no, it’s too cold for that. Just come to the roof.”

“Okay, okay.”

And then they were pulled away, to interviews and photos and everything else. Yuri got away as quickly as he could, moving back to his bedroom to pull off his costume and change into something more casual. Then he dashed up the stairs to the roof, quickly setting up a small blanket and placing a basket on it. Maybe a picnic was cheesy and would seem a little weird, but he wanted to celebrate. He sent Yuuri a text that he was waiting for him on the roof. Then he laid back on the blanket and waiting, watching the stars appear one by one as it grew darker.

“Beautiful night, huh?”

Yuuri’s voice made Yuri jump a bit, sitting up and looking behind him. “Yea, it’s pretty nice.”

Yuuri was in plain jeans and a long jacket, and he walked forward, sitting on the blanket. “A picnic? You definitely chose a good night for it. I’ll admit, it’s more appealing than the banquet, especially considering I usually get drunk at it.”

Yuri chuckled. “Well, I got some wine, but you’re not having more than one glass,” he teases a bit, leaning back on his hands.

“So this is what you had in mind? It almost feels like a date,” Yuuri said softly. Yuri’s face grew red, but Yuuri continued before he could speak up. “Yurio… I know about your crush on me.”

Yuri froze. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Yuuri shook his head. “I guess I suspected for a while, but… I think this and what Chris said the other day confirms it.”

“... I’m going to kill him.”

“N-No, don’t, he didn’t tell me!” Yuuri waved his hands in front of him, worried. “He basically just said something about us seeming closer, and I realized it was true. And thinking of why, well… I guess that was all I could think of, especially when you say the person you want to kiss wouldn’t want to kiss you.”

Yuri sighed softly, looking at his lap. “That obvious, huh?”

“No, you did good at hiding it. I guess I just hadn’t thought about it before. Yuri…”

Yuri didn’t want to look up. He didn’t want to see that rejection, that pity. “Maybe we should have gone to the banquet after all.”

He heard the other male shift, and suddenly a hand entered his vision, cupping his cheek and forcing him to look up. Instead of what Yuri expected, Yuuri’s gaze was warm and understanding. Suddenly he leaned in, kissing Yuri’s cheek. “I wanted to thank you.”

Yuri sat in stunned silence for a few moments before finding his voice again. “Why..?”

Yuuri sat back, sighing softly. “Because… You’ve felt this way about me all this time, but you set that aside to support me, and help me after I broke up with Viktor. I’m really grateful.”

“It’d be a pretty jackass move to hit on you once you broke up with him,” Yuri huffed and looked away again. “Besides, I knew you weren’t interested in me, so there wouldn’t be a point to it anyways.”

Yuuri shifted. “Well… Remember when you called me after your short program at Skate Canada?”

“Well, yea, I told you I would, since I wouldn’t let anyone see my program before then.”

“Do you remember my reaction to it..?”

“You thought it was good.” Of course he remembered, how could he forget Yuuri’s voice, raving over his preformance. “You got protective too, dunno why.”

“I didn’t know why either. Not at first. I tried not to think about it, but every time I watched your performance- which was a lot, the triplets love playing their favorite routines over and over and over, I think I’ve seen JJ’s like a million times by now-” He pauses to laugh, fondness in his gaze at remembering the triplets’ antics. “But I felt that same thing every time. You… skated like you were putting yourself out there, an offer of love, and I realized… I really didn’t like the idea of anyone taking you up on that offer.”

Yuri looked up in surprise. “You… You were jealous?”

Yuuri chuckled and rubbed his neck, obviously embarrassed. “Yea. And for a while, I couldn’t figure out why. Why did it matter to me so much if you found someone you wanted to share that part of yourself with? And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that… It was because I wanted to be that person you shared it with.”

“Oh.” Yuri wasn’t sure what to say. He’d never thought something like this would happen.

Yuuri shook his head. “I’m not ready. Not for another relationship, not right now. But I thought I should be honest with you.”

“Well, I’ve waited this long. I wouldn’t mind waiting a little longer.” The words were out of Yuri’s mouth before he could stop them. He held his hand up as Yuuri went to speak, knowing what would come next. “If I say I wouldn’t mind waiting, I don’t mind waiting. Not like there’s anyone else I want to date. So whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here.”

Tears welled up in the corners of Yuuri’s eyes, and he laughed softly. “I guess I should have expected that from you. I really don’t deserve this, especially not from you. But there is something you’ve been wanting that I could give you right now.”

Yuri tilted his head in confusion and Yuuri leaned forward, kissing him gently.

Yuri made a soft noise of surprise, eyes widening before fluttering shut as he melted into the kiss. This was what he’d wanted for so long, and it was perfect. Yuuri pulled back with a flustered smile. “Was it good?”

“Uh-huh.” Yuri was a bit dazed still, staring at Yuuri with wide eyes. “That was… really nice.”

Yuuri let out a sigh of relief. “Good. Now, are we going to have a picnic? I’m definitely hungry after today.”

That helped startle Yuri out of his stupor. “Ah, yes, I asked Grandpa to make some of those pork cutlet pirozhkis, and I figured they’d be fine since you won today.” He dug into the basket, pulling out the wrapped pirozhkis and handing one to Yuuri, who immediately dug in.

“Mm, your grandfather’s cooking is so amazing, I still can’t believe he came up with something like this!”

“Yea, he’s pretty great. You should meet him, I’m sure he’d love to hear how much you like his food. He loves cooking.” He takes a large bite of his own, smiling wide.

They stayed like that late into the night, talking softly as the stars shone overhead. Yuri couldn’t help but be relieved, and Yuuri was simply happy to everything out in the open.

And if Phichit had snuck a picture from the door to the roof and posted it for everyone to see? Well they didn’t have to know yet.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment, it makes my day and totally helps motivate me to write more. Also, please leave any ideas if you have them, I'm always looking for fresh ones!


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